It is difficult for a typical owner of this temperament to live. And how difficult it is to live with him…

Description in paints

I guess that the article will be read either by the melancholy themselves or by their close ones. And – please: react adequately when any moments seem insulting to you. It will not be about the character, not about the abilities, but only about the corrected properties of the psyche, which, incidentally, are extremely rare in the pure form.

Temperament is the biological foundation of the personality, which is determined by the type of higher nervous activity – a stable relationship of strength, balance and mobility of the processes of excitation / inhibition.

The melancholic type of GNI:

• weak;
• unbalanced;
• little excitable.

Such a person “does not respond to anything at all, but when he responds, he experiences strongly, although he does not express his feelings a little.” In a stressful situation, he is lost, made passive (or, on the contrary, commits an irrational act).

Since the intense influence of external stimuli knocks the melancholic out of the rout, it usually develops a tendency to introvert.

Symptoms of melancholia

The bearer of temperament is given the following features:

• an obvious desire to maintain a distance between themselves and the interlocutor;
• a low voice – right up to the whisper;
• scant facial expressions;
• poor gesticulation.

He does not wave his hands, sharing an interesting idea. His movements are more likely from the category of grooming – without much need to adjust his clothes, wind a bang on his finger …

Here is an expressive portrait of a melancholic student:

At the lessons he is calm, he always sits in the same position, he does something in his hands. Very reserved in the expression of feelings. Having received the “deuce”, not having changed at all in the person, goes to the place, but at home, according to the parents, for a long time cannot calm down, unable to get to work. Responds uncertainly, stammering, even if carefully prepared.

He slowly “thaws” even in a situation that evokes pleasant emotions. The class was brought to the circus. At first the boy sat with a motionless face and only after a few minutes began to smile, talk with other guys.

An adult melancholic reacts less sharply to the new situation, but he treats changes with caution and does not initiate them: “Moving to a new house, he does not even know who lives on his staircase in a year.”

Positive and negative features

These people:

• the original proposals from outside and their own bold ideas are too critical;
• limit themselves in communication, acquiring the reputation of a homebody;
• Wasting for self-pity and self-flagellation;
• painfully react to comments (for them the remark is the first bell about a hypothetical conflict and an unasked topic for painful reflection);
• quickly become tired and lose enthusiasm if something goes wrong;
• They lower their hands too early for difficulties too early.

However, they have undeniable advantages. Spending a lot of time in the inner world and constantly analyzing their own experience, the melancholy grows as a person.

Persons with this temperament are often people of honor, conscience and devoted friends.

The desire for solitude also has the opposite side. Melancholics are self-taught. Well-known psychologists emphasize that people of such a temper have good chances to learn the language individually.

Nothing disturbed melancholically concentrated and productive work. The authorities are not afraid to rely on him: he will fulfill the obligations assumed, if not out of a sense of responsibility, then out of fear of reproach.

Where can such a person be realized?

With a weak type of GNI, he finds himself in a creative or intellectual work that does not involve publicity.

He will make an excellent homework.

Advice for a leader who has a melancholic state: allow such a specialist to work as autonomously as real.

Here is a story from my recent past. I worked on an ongoing basis with one editorial staff. The office was cramped, and I wrote the texts at home – she negotiated the interview herself, watched the deadlines, she sent the finished materials by e-mail, and she saw her boss and colleagues only on a weekly plan. They were delighted with me, and I – from them to a strictly certain point: the newspaper’s advertisers had a job and the head decided to pull up additional forces to help them. I was ultimately asked to work a week in the office – to call potential advertisers.

I will never forget five days of this nightmare: in the half-meter from me all day other people sit – they are not in the spirit because of the premium covered with a copper pelvis and they constantly pinch each other; I have to make ten or twenty calls even more strangers before lunch and as many after; at least a third of subscribers are determined to send me a forest … Rush hour passed. Everything returned to normal. But there was hardly a suitable occasion – I quit.

Sanguine or phlegmatic, my story will seem childish babble. Other melancholic people will understand.

Difficulties of relationships in the family

According to researchers, the greatest satisfaction with marriage is in a couple where the husband is a sanguine person, and the wife is a melancholic: partners complement each other, conflictlessly distribute roles. The most difficult case is the union of a melancholic with a choleric:

Both spouses are unrestrained in their behavior and statements, but at the same time, both are easily vulnerable and are seriously affected by any situation in which their self-esteem is hurt.

Thunder and lightning cease, if the power of the choleric turns into the desire to patronize a loved one.

Relations with a phlegmatic person in a melancholic temperament are normal, but they often lack warmth and mutual help.

Do not take these observations of psychologists as a fan of astrology – a fresh horoscope. The decisive role in the long run is the desire of the spouses to understand and accept each other.

To accept a melancholic means:

• to discuss problematic topics without noise: even an elevated voice slightly drives him into a stupor;
• do not make fun of him;
• give him enough time to think about important decisions;
• with all his might to avoid disrupting the overall plans.

He will respond with a serious attitude to the cares of a loved one, willingness to listen and support.

Famous melancholics

As I said, temperament is not a measure of abilities. The path to success is open to melancholy. Under certain circumstances, hypersensitivity even helps them. Take, for example, Pyotr Tchaikovsky.

The great composer was extremely injured – it was not for nothing that governess Fanny Durbach called it “glass.” In one of the letters Tchaikovsky says: imagine, he was admiring the magic quiet evening from the deck of the ship and suddenly a child got noisy. I went to my cabin. The whole night I cried.

It’s ridiculous. But could a less sensitive person write piercingly subtle music for “Swan Lake”? I doubt it.

Call someone not from the realm of art? Kindly: Rene Descartes, Charles Darwin.

Bill Gates, at last – the richest person of a planet in the periods with 1996 for 2007 and with 2009 for 2016 under version Forbes.

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Otherwise, the owner of this temperament risks to turn into a burdensome bother, which really could not be realized in any of the undertakings.

Characteristic external signs

Choleric has a strong unstable type of higher nervous activity with a predominance of excitation, and, therefore, displays emotion roughly – through:

• energetic movements – for example, quickly walks;
• expressive demonstrative facial expressions;
• free gestures;
• a loud voice and hasty speech.

Once in a new company, he does not sit in a dark corner, and eagerly gets acquainted.

Qualities of choleric – useful and problematic

The main positive features inherent in people with this temperament are vigor and initiative.

Choleric people have a high speed of thinking, sensory sensitivity, good intuition.

In communication, for them, there is a captivating unhappiness: they will scream, but in five minutes they will forgive.

Unfortunately, the activity of the choleric person is often wasted due to the low level of GNI. People of this kind go to the goal, while the idea turns around. When it comes to painstaking routine work, it becomes difficult for them to maintain their initial enthusiasm.

And – a lot depends on education, on the availability of the habit of leading the begun not to the end, but at least to the first results.

Education (and with it – the level of maturity) largely determines the ability of the choleric to restrain emotions.

It is well known that the highest indexes of aggressiveness are noted in choleric patients.

It would be a mistake to think that unspent energy necessarily makes such people fierce tyrants. Sometimes they, on the contrary, “become listless, apathetic, boring, picky, spiteful and boring.”

To keep in optimal shape, the choleric is desirable to create a discharge by artificial means. It is well provided by sport, in which high reactivity and excitement (various martial arts, team games) are used.

But discharging at the expense of alcohol with an unstable type of GNI is dangerous.

The relationship between the genetically determined properties of the nervous system and predisposition to alcohol dependence was studied, working with a group of patients (58 people under 35 years of age, the dependence of stage II was diagnosed in all). What do you think, what temperament did 40% of the subjects possess? That’s right, choleric. However, in the group melancholics were even more – 51%.

Areas of self-actualization

Brightness and passionarity can be revealed in business, in management activities.

According to observations of scientists, representatives of this particular temperament often become successful superiors, they easily deserve the trust of subordinates.

In the long-established collectives headed by choleric people, everyone knows: no matter how much trouble happens, you must first of all tell your leader about it. Yes, that will inevitably explode (at this point all the surrounding people are advised to “fall” so as not to be affected by “splinters”), but in a few seconds it will start thinking and finding the right solutions in parallel.

Charismatic choleric is suitable for public or creative work, focused on the public. He will be comfortable in the role of politician, TV presenter, actor, singer.

How to get along with choleric?

Such an employee “is better not to entrust long-term projects”. Let him be an ideological inspirer and a wand-help in case of force majeure.

In between brainstorming sessions, it is important not to let him get bored.

Choleric must always be loaded with useful activities, otherwise it can act as a source of interpersonal conflicts.

It is desirable to select choleric phlegmatic for mates. With a sanguine person and with himself, he will involuntarily begin to share the primacy, the melancholic will suppress.

His family life is again the easiest way to build up with partners of a phlegmatic warehouse.

Choleric usually acts as a driving force in the development of relationships – both positive and negative.

The initiative he shows must be respected. Nothing arouses him as much as the counter-indifference or the attempt of the interlocutor to get away from the solution of the common problem.

Consider that the harsh words spoken by the choleric under the influence of a momentary mood, hardly accurately reflect his true thoughts. Want to sulk – please; he will only be surprised at your resentment and will go about his business.

By the way, at the peak of enthusiasm for something such a person is able to completely forget about the basic physiological needs – your and yours. Remember for him that every living creature from time to time you need to eat and sleep, and ideally – to observe the normal regime of the day.

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